You hurt me.
When I come in close proximity
Your gravitational field
And all my insides leap out, splitting skin
And bone, just to get close to you.
You weave my ligaments into perfect blankets
(my knees can barely keep me standing)
Sleep on my heartstrings like they’re hammocks
Rip the air from my lungs.
You’re a universe of destruction
I cannot avoid.
The softest graze of your hands on mine
The smallest tilt of your head when I ask
A question, the gentlest curve of your velvet lips-
And I fall apart, screaming into
The vacuum between stardust and meteors
Nothing and everything all at once
Crumbling within my collapsing chest.
It’s almost easier to believe there is some
Cruel intent. How can someone so
Perfect be so
Unaware of the pain you
(your fingers your lips your hair your eyes
You live in your own galaxy
Lightyears worth of planets away from me
Kept in your
Perfect world of normalcy and conservatism
You are blind.
And I am frozen, a broken thing
Suspended in an eternal black hole
Wrapping my dead arms around myself
And pretending they’re yours.
You hurt me
And I will carry the
Beautiful, silent burden of loving you
Until my eyes close for good
Doreah is a 17 year old currently studying social work. She still struggles with the different facets of her identity and enjoys making sense of it through random bouts of poetry. She believes in a world where everyone can be free to love and express themselves as they desire. This is one of her first publications.
Being Queer in School is a series of community submissions that seek to explore what it means to be queer in the Singapore education system. If you have anything to share with us, submit to us through e-mail.